1. HAVE A BUDGET IN MIND - Before you even begin talking to architects or home builders, figure out how much money you have to spend on your project. This may depend on a number of factors including how much money you have saved for the project, how much you feel comfortable spending on a monthly mortgage or loan payment, and how much your lender is willing to lend you. (SEE What Will It Cost? and Construction Budgets and Setting Priorities) Note: the square foot costs in the "What Will It Cost?" blog post are very much outdated, but the article can give you a general idea of how different decisions affect the cost of your construction.
2. ALLOW PLENTY OF TIME - It's easy to underestimate how long a building project can take. There's selecting an architect, schematic design, construction drawings, bidding / choosing a builder, getting permits and finally construction. Depending on the size and complexity of your project, it could easily take from 6 months for a small remodeling project to 18 months (or more) for a unique home with many custom details. And that's assuming that your preferred home builder has room for you in their schedule when you want to build.
3. CONSIDER YOUR FUTURE NEEDS - Consider how your life may change over the years. Are you planning to start a family soon? Are you expecting to become empty nesters in the near future? Or perhaps want to have a space where aging parents can come to live with you? Or are approaching retirement age yourselves and want to have a home that will allow you to stay in your home as long as possible? (See Aging in Place and The Aging-Friendly Bathroom)
4. CHOOSE YOUR BUILDER WISELY - You'll be spending a lot of time with your home builder and entrusting a huge investment to them. You'll want to select one who does good work, whom you trust and can work with and who is well-suited for your project. (See What To Expect From Your Home Builder, Choosing Your Contractor, Part 1 and Choosing Your Contractor, Part 2). I can provide you with a list of questions that you should ask your builder and references for that builder.
5. UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS - See my series of blog posts: Working with An Architect: Getting To Know You, Working with An Architect: Programming, Working With An Architect: Schematic Design, Working With An Architect: Design Development, Working With An Architect: Additional Details, Working With An Architect: Bidding or Negotiation, and Working With An Architect: The Construction Phase